Goodbye is the hardest word to say...

I found out that the things that I always refuse to do is call my parents...I can't express my own feeling in facebook anymore cuz my family members have facebook accounts as well...so I can only talk about it here since there's not much frens that follow my blogspot...

It's X'mas so I have to call my parents...the moment I saw my mum on Skype I just keep enduring the tears...I forced my tears to go back...that time many frens are inside the house so I didn't wanna cry in front of them...I saw my mum and my sisters are so happy,sitting on the sofa,I can feel the warm to be at home...I wanna go home...

I planned to call my dad as well after calling my mum but I didn't...cuz I don't wanna suffer so much...I decided to call him when my emotion calms down...maybe tomorrow...or later...cuz the last thing I wanna do is talk to them...it's soooooooooooo hard...I miss them damn much...very very much...

Im frustrated...EMO-ing...

Im really frustrated...So there are times that you wanna do something u like...But end up that u cant,because u got not enuf money to do it...

I've been thinking to study the leaving certificate( some kinda like a-levels thingy ) lately...So I went to a local institute for enquiry,I really really wanna enrol in this school...it's a full time 9am-5pm school...and when I asked for the price it's really frightening...12000K EURO for a year...oh god...I cant afford that much...

Im thinking to ask someone to borrow me money(but u know...)...or I dont know...what other choice that I have?? I doesn't wanna borrow money from other ppl...doesn't have any solution...

Maybe I'll just stick to this life,w/o spending that much,w/o suffering from thinking about studies...but I really really hope I could get a chance to do what I wanted to do...Im so damn emo now...EMOEMOEMOEMOEMOEMOEMOEMOEMO!!!

I NEED HELP!

It's been a while since I updated my blog...Cuz I've been very busy lately...(busy on FB,and watch movies)...Im quite confuse recently...I can't predict my future...I dunno what Im going to do next year,and maybe I should say,what I suppose to do...what is right for me...I doesn't know...

I've never forget about the hope my parents gave me...And I won't disappoint them...I will,and must,study again,and back to school life...BUT,should I stay,or should I back to Msia for my future studies?? Im being miserable because of this problem that I haven't solve for about two years...It's been haunting me! I really hope someone(that doesn't involve)can give me some suggestion...Without a doubt,my parents' will suggest me to go home,and he will suggest me to stay...so I couldn't rely on their suggestion...I need someone that is wise,that could lead me to the correct desicion...

There are a lot of problems....

1st---One of my step-sister is going through her teenage...and she needs someone to help her,and guide her to be back to her studies,she's being so stupid lately...always mix with those ''bad'' students...so,BACK MSIA?

2nd---If I back MSIA,WHERE should I study? and WHAT,should I study? WHAT suits me? I doesn't know!

3rd---About my aim of living on EARTH...TO BE HAPPY,and I hope I could travel around the world someday...If I stay in Ireland,to travel one place in each year,I could fulfill my dream in no time...cause if I study,then work in Msia for the rest of my life...I bet I couldn't do that! I won't be able to afford a single flight ticket to London! Can't even think about travel AROUND the world??? so,STAY in Ireland??

4th---BUT if I stay in Ireland,WHAT should I do?? Should I continue my studies then?? Cuz It will costs me a fortune to study here!

OH GOD! HELP ME!